Music Makes Me Feel Things

Music makes you feel things, you know?

Sometimes I wonder if it’s just my exhaustion. Or some impossible-to-detect brain abnormality that’ll cause my sudden death next week.

But I think it’s just music. I can be sitting at my desk, working on this week’s graduate assignment, perfectly content. The feeling of satisfaction in knowing I’m working towards my life goals sits warm in my stomach, a comfortable reassurance that it’ll all be okay.

I turn on some instrumental music to help myself concentrate. I think I have a touch of ADHD and find it increasingly difficult to concentrate on one specific thing, no matter how much I want to do it. I’ve had some success concentrating on my homework/writing if I listen to instrumental music. So I turn on my trusty Calming Instrumental Music playlist on Spotify.

And suddenly I’m transported to a rainy day in mid-October. The breeze blows outside the window, leaves twirling in the air as if they existed carefree, unburdened by the ground falling away beneath them and unconscious of the dangers presented by the breeze, enjoying only the feeling of weightlessness and the anticipation of what comes next. I smell cinnamon-infused coffee and feel the rough softness of the wool blanket wrapped around me, the firm arms of my love holding me close. I’m drowning in the nostalgia of a moment that has yet to happen, drunk on the love and warmth I feel but aching for it to stay, rather than fulfill its fleeting nature.

Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I am exhausted. Or maybe music truly is magic, and our hearts and our minds yearn for the escape it can provide, if only we would allow it.